I spent most of my holiday break preemptively grieving the potential loss of TikTok, my own interactive mood board of beauty and style inspiration.

As it stands, the app, which has connected communities, birthed superstars and afforded millions of creators with life-changing platforms, will be banned on Jan. 19 if there is no court or government intervention.

For me, TikTok has existed as a double-edged digital sword since I first downloaded it during my pandemic-induced state of chronic boredom and near delirium, desperate to find a modicum of normalcy, as well as learn how to make a sourdough starter.

See, on the one hand, TikTok exposed me to treasures unknown in the form of makeup tutorials, cooking hacks and animal facts. Did you know Pandas eat between 26 and 84 pounds of bamboo each day? And it’s undoubtedly made me a more informed (and anxious) citizen thanks to the near round-the-clock world event updates available on the app.

On the other hand, though, TikTok has caused potentially irreparable damage to my attention span, and I wouldn’t fess up my screen time for all the money or bamboo in the world.

This sentiment is shared by many users who, despite loving the app, can admit that TikTok can have disastrous effects on your ability to concentrate for long periods of time.

In fact, many users seem low-key excited to have their biggest distractor forcibly removed from their reach. But all of this discourse about a potential ban has led me to focus more on my relationship with social media as a mood board, in a self-reflective sort of way.

@iamtiarag
And I might get my attention span back #tiktokban
♬ original sound – Tiara W

To be specific, I’ve been thinking about the use of the term “highlight reel” as a way to describe the hyper-curated posts people share of their lives online. Typically, this term is used to soothe feelings of comparison when you see someone’s seemingly “perfect” life. You know the line, “People only post their highlight reels online, not their real lives.”

Now, I agree with that sentiment in theory, but using the term “highlight reel” to imply no one is truly enjoying their lives gives me pause. Not only is it harmful to have to constantly imagine a worst-case scenario every time someone posts an accomplishment, but it’s also a waste of mental energy.

Instead of focusing on what may or may not be going on behind the closed doors of your following tab, using social media as your own “highlight reel,” which you can use to reflect on happier times in your life, can be a good thing.

When I feel particularly in the dumps, I sometimes lose sight of the many amazing opportunities and experiences I’ve had, but having a curated digital archive of said moments brings me back to reality. This goes for TikTok of course but also Instagram and any other app where you chronicle your life.

So, as I save all of my TikTok drafts and download some of my favorite makeup tutorials and clothing hauls before the app departs, I find myself with, despite my various critiques and gripes, a renewed appreciation for the apps.

TikTok ban

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