One of my favorite things to talk about is sex. It’s also one of my favorite subjects to teach not because I’m a nasty girl, but because I’m self-aware and ‘innerstand’ sex is life, breath, creativity and spirituality. It’s how we all got here. Sex is everything to our existence and yet there is so much taboo and ignorance around the subject. It’s not really our fault, considering many of us learned from others who also had no clue about the true nature of sex. Consider how you know what you know about your body and sex. There can be so much timidity around a discussion about sex, but I encourage more candid conversation, as this is one of the best ways to learn about something that is believed to be so naughty.

If your sources of information were anything like mine, i.e. church and religion, parents, school (sex ed), peers, then there’s a good chance you’re a bit slow in the sexual awareness department. No worries, I got you!

But you must be willing to explore information that might be totally and completely counter what you think you know because what you think you know about sex might be keeping you boxed in and caged, blocking you from your highest sexual potential. Time to get free.

Redefining sex

My mission is to help every woman ‘innerstand’ the value of sex and her body so that we can heal ourselves, each other and our world. Yep, it’s deep like that. Folks here in the west have major issues around sex. Though things are rapidly changing, we tend to shy away from the topic or promote sexual perversion and deviancy.

But what if I told you the powers of sex can be used for good, that sex can be a form of spirituality? It’s something we hardly touch here in the west because we are, for the most part, products of religious dogma that rejects the flesh, women’s sexuality, and nature — all very important components of a practice called ‘Sacred Sex.’

The ancients knew the power of sex other than mutual masturbation (what most people do when there’s no heart involved). Lineages like Tantra — Kemetic, Hindu, and Tibetan Buddhist, as well as the wisdom of the Tao, were all about that spiritual and sexual integration. If you so dare, reach back into indigenous lineages and their views about sex and you will discover sex, the female body, fertility, and communication with nature were major pieces to the way life was revered and lived.

Sex is more than a way to procreate, more than a way to birth ourselves from spirit into matter. It is also a delicious form of communication, a tool for healing and transformation, a journey of transmutation and spiritual alchemy, and a vehicle to optimal health and wellness — what the ancients called immortality.

Sex, when practiced intentionally, is a form of prayer, a medium of devotion encased in love. Sacred sex is the act of sex from a place of love and devotion while acknowledging and seeking to connect to the divinity that resides within all of us. It’s not sex only for the sake of pleasure. It’s not sex seeking power or control over another. Sacred sex is a form of prayer and worship at the altar of creation itself. Approaching every sexual encounter with the same level of respect and reverence you do your pastor and your church will elevate your experience in ways you never imagined. Practiced in this way, sex becomes a ritual of acknowledging the divinity in yourself and your partner.

How practicing sacred sex can heal us

We can always assess the spiritual/mental health and wellness of the collective community by listening to and watching the youth. Well, by the looks of reality television and music, we’re not doing so well. Other than the few gentle moments claimed by Drake, hip-hop reflects a population of men far out of touch with their hearts and the magic of tenderness. There are very few examples of adoration or respect for women, for sex, for love or romance.

And the women, may Mama Goddess bless our hearts, we are also far removed from knowing ourselves and the power innately possessed with being a woman that we accept all the crazy the men are serving. We agree to having our backs blown out and our Yoni (vagina) beat up. We think that it’s cute, so desensitized to real heart connection we believe there isn’t much happening unless he’s beating something up.

Our culture is one that perverts sexuality and diminishes its potential. Sexual deviancy and hypersexuality are praised as norms. We can do better. We must know that we are more and we deserve more. Practicing sex as a sacred, spiritual practice can help us restore respect for ourselves and each other.

The truth is, we want to connect with each other deeply. We want otherworldly sex, but most of us are just f*$king. We need sex; it’s how we all got here – passionate, sweaty, messy, liberated sex! We need heart-connected sex and less heartless, disconnected sex. Sex is the way we communicate on a soul level. It’s the way we express all we can’t with words. Sex heals, and innately we know this.

I strongly believe sacred sex is a solution to many of our problems.

We’re all wounded and in need of healing from these deep wounds of self-loathing. It all starts with the way we see ourselves. Religion has some of us thinking we’re separate from divinity and desires of the flesh are unholy. But the opposite is so. We’re all suffering because we refuse to acknowledge the divinity of the feminine. We have turned our backs on not only ourselves but the divine mother, the womb, the Yoni, life principles and creative forces. We can start to reverse this spell by practicing love on the deepest level for her, ourselves, and each other.

What we don’t need are aggression and perversion within the context of sex. I believe we need men to participate in zero shaming of women. I think we need women to be 100 percent accountable to our own experiences. We need women who are unapologetically sexually liberated. I think we need, as women, to understand men are men. They are not us. They connect to love through their penis. I think men need to understand we are not them and women connect to love through our hearts by way of our Yonis. We all need to become more relaxed in our sexual nature and allow ourselves to be the divine beings we are. We need to know sex is sacred and we can heal each other with it.

For more on this topic, read ‘The Sacred Sex Bible’ and ‘Tao of Sexology.’

Redefining sex

How practicing sacred sex can heal us

I strongly believe sacred sex is a solution to many of our problems.

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