Although August Wilson's Fences is mostly focused on it's male main character, Troy Maxson's, issues of depression, loneliness (while married to a loving wife), and regret. I couldn't help but notice the love and unwavering support that his wife Rose gives abundantly to him during each of his trials, tribulations, and achievements.

The 2016 film adaptation of the '80s play tackles so many issues in the black family, but really draws moviegoers attention, outrage, and support to the misfortunes of the black male characters.

As I sat in my seat in awe of finally watching the play that I've read and studied years ago in undergrad (shout out to The University of Maryland Eastern Shore), I couldn't help but become frustrated with the lack of recognition to Rose and what she was putting up with when it came to her cheating husband.

I began to wonder and sometimes whisper to my boyfriend at awkward times during the film. "What about Rose? Why doesn't she just leave? She's gonna keep that baby!" I wonder so frequently, just like I did back in college, what about the load that the lone woman in this film carries without complaint?

Who does she have to lean on for support and guidance? As the movie continues, we watch Rose harness her "strong black woman" 'tude and keep it moving.

She supports Troy through his harsh love for their children, one of which is from a previous relationship, as well as his adulterous affair. This latter situation ultimately leads to a new child, Raynelle, being raised in their home.

Fences is set in the 1950s, yet the very issues that Rose faces with Troy are the same things that I've seen my friends, family members and famous women in the media face in the present day. It's a reminder that the cycle that black families face just continues repeating itself.

We grow up as little innocent black girls, marveling in our mothers super human powers, only to realize when we have grown into the strong black woman she trained us to be. We say, "Wow, she went through all of that in her relationship and I never knew! She's so strong."

Yes, girlfriends our mothers, grandmothers and aunties dealt with it all, while making sure that everyone in the family was clothed, fed, nurtured and loved unconditionally by them. Sure, some of us had our fathers in the home and some of us didn't, but the lack of love and affection from black fathers is still a familiar story for many of us.

The question now becomes, how do we, the millennial women, avoid this cycle of "superwoman-hood?"

In my opinion, it all starts with not putting up with the stuff we saw or still see the women in our family dealing with. We know the kind of love that we deserve, but some women settle just like Rose did.

As black women we are strong and resilient, but we have to stand up for what we believe in and seek out and build healthy relationships. We can no longer stand by and be mistreated and undervalued by our men.

As Maya Angelou put it "Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at it's destination full of hope." Girlfriends all around the globe, if the men in your life aren't metaphorically jumping into your arms full of love and hope it's time to move on to working on you first, then patiently waiting for the right one who will build that perfect fence around your mind, body, heart and soul.

#healthyrelationship

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