Did you know sex can be a tool for healing and deep connection? It’s a powerful way to expand our hearts, experience otherworldly connections with one another and strengthen our very essence. Dope, right?

The ancient philosophies of Kemet, Tibetan Tantra, Chinese Tao and many other spiritual practices from around the world recognize sex as a spiritual act inciting experiences of intense pleasure and as being a source of vitality and wellness.

Here are several techniques you can try to make your sexual encounters unworldly:

1. Know your sexual anatomy

I’ve seen it all too often — we engage in sex with others expecting them to lead. It’s like we expect others to know our bodies better than we do. Those days are dead. You should understand the link between your mouth and your private parts. That way, if ever you find yourself with a less-than-amazing lover, you can guide them on how to pleasure you properly.

2. Be comfortable in your skin

Don’t be afraid to look at yourself and your private parts in the mirror. Get to know each fold and curve like the back of your hand. Consider masturbation if you need to to become the master of your own sexual experiences. Become familiar with and love every blemish, roll, dimple and small and large parts of your body. Just love on yourself and accept all of you. This ensures that when you’re naked in front of your lover you will be confident too! Confidence allows you to relax and to confidently ask for what you want, which then allows for good love-making!

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3. Practice sex as an exercise of receiving

Some of us get caught up in the illusion that we are supposed to serve our partners during sex each time. Serving is good and fun, but have you ever allowed yourself to relax into receiving all the good loving they have to offer? I’m not talking about laying there like a cadaver, disinterested and frigid. No! Communicate that you are very much engaged and open to experience all that your partner has to offer. This can be a powerful exercise for those of you who are control freaks or are usually the giver in these scenarios.

4. Only share yourself with those who adore you!

Yes, I said it! I don’t know a person alive who doesn’t want to be adored and cherished. All of us want this, but only some of us get it because we don’t know how to command it. Many of us feel ashamed or guilty for considering ourselves worthy of wanting to be adored, but why? There is something so special about making love to a person that holds you in the highest esteem, nothing like someone who’s able to express deep gratitude for your presence and your beauty. It makes the sex magical.

5. Treat your lover’s body like the temple that it is

Perhaps start off with a massage. Feed them fruit. Run them a bath. Make them feel, with every touch, every kiss, that you are honored to be in their presence. Let them feel what it is you see in them and why they’ve been given the gift of this exchange with you. Show your love with your confidence and passion. Be fully present and open.

6. Get out of your head

I can’t stress this one enough. Sex is the worst when it feels mechanical or forced. Sex should be fluid like a dance. There’s no room for thinking, just let it flow and allow yourself to be in the moment. Breathe, use your throat to express beautiful sounds letting your lover know you are pleased. Be sure you’re where you want to be and with whom you want to be. If you find it hard to relax then it might not be the right time.

7. Pray or meditate before sex

Prayer is the act of petitioning for something desired. Meditation is active listening from within, a way to connect to the universe, God, or any divine supreme being or force you believe in. How next level might your sex be if you do one or both of these practices before body locking? Talk about a connection. Do this and expect the sex to be sensational. It’s also a clever way to weed out those who might not be so deserving of your time and space anyway through clarity and premonition.

Practicing sex from a deep place of reverence for self and our partner transforms sex in a number of ways. It’s ok to want sex, it’s how we got here — passionate, sweaty, messy, liberating sex! We need heart-connected sex and less heartless, disconnected sex. Sex is the way we communicate on a subconscious, unspoken level. It’s the way we express what we can’t with words. Make the experience phenomenal.

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