I grew up as a black ass kid with black ass parents.

I loved every moment of my childhood.

My experience contributes to my idea of what proper parenting looks like—the nuance involved in teaching accountability and integrity; the level of intensity needed to effectively respond to disrespect; the trickiness of building self-efficacy.

My parents were "good" parents.

It takes an enormous amount of energy to build a kid who gives more to the world, than what he or she takes, and I wasn't a perfect child. I pray that karma doesn't exist, because if so, my children are destined for a life of petty-ass crime and bad-as-hell-ness.

I'm hip to the African-American proverbs passed down generation after generation, and heard more than my fair share of phrases like, "didn't I tell you…" and the, "I brought you into this world I can take you out of it," accompanied with a slap on the back of the neck.

Most times I was guilty. Dead wrong. But other times I was just a casual bystander that got hit in a barrage frustration.

An ant smashed by a sledgehammer.

We've all experienced it: Being yelled at for the smallest things—coming in and out the house too much during the summer heat, scuffing up your new school shoes, forgetting a homework assignment in your desk at school, leaving dirty silverware in the sink.

In Kendrick Lamar's song "Fear.," his first verse accounts his experience as a child with a strict mother. Written in first person, the verse is line after line of admonishments—intentionally not revealing his age until the second to last line. This tactic in his writing lulls us into believing that the person being cautioned is much older—not seven years of age.

It reflects the harsh language that can accompany parenting—the thin line between being "strict" and "abusive."

I'm a firm believer of beating-your-kids-for-the-good-of-society, but this song makes me take a step back. It makes me re-evaluate what actions I need to take in order to properly discipline the black children I bring into this world, and whether my methods will be empowering, or oppressive.

Are we disciplining through fear?

The lyrics from the first verse of "FEAR." are below:

I beat yo' ass, keep talkin' back
I beat yo’ ass, who bought you that?
You stole it, I beat yo’ ass if you say that game is broken
I beat yo' ass if you jump on my couch
I beat yo’ ass if you walk in this house with tears in your eyes
Runnin' from poopoo and 'prentice
Go back outside, I beat yo' ass, lil nigga
That homework better be finished, I beat yo’ ass
Yo' teachers better not be bitchin' 'bout you in class
That pizza better not be wasted, you eat it all
That TV better not be loud if you got it on
Them Jordans better not get dirty when I just bought 'em
Better not hear 'bout you humpin' on Keisha's daughter
Better not hear you got caught up, I beat yo' ass
You better not run to your father, I beat yo' ass
You know my patience runnin' thin
I got beaucoup payments to make
County building's on my ass
Tryna take my food stamps away
I beat yo' ass if you tell them social workers he live here
I beat yo' ass if I beat yo' ass twice and you still here
Seven years old, think you run this house by yourself?
Nigga, you gon' fear me if you don't fear no one else.

Black parent

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