Oh, Karen Huger. Everyone has seen the fallout of The Real Housewives of Potomac star’s DUI trial, and things are murky. She faces upward of two years in prison and will be sentenced in January, two weeks after the Season 9 reunion films. While some may see this as her downfall, I beg to differ. 

Has Karen created an illusion of delusion of grandeur with her reality television persona? Yes. But what reality star hasn’t? For years, the writing has been on the wall; behind the etiquette coaching, charity events, and love bubble between her and the Black Bill Gates, something troubling was going on, and she drank to cope. Calling her an alcoholic may be a stretch. But it’s safe to say that her relationship with alcohol has not always been the healthiest, and having your business on full display — even the parts you have the right to reserve and not use for public consumption — is a lot.

From the show’s inception, Karen was an immediate favorite. Let’s face it: She’s a hoot. Karen is sharp, quick with comebacks and witty. But there’s also a sense of sadness she’s always carried. When viewers first meet her, she is transitioning into an empty nester and trying to adapt to a new reality with her older husband, Ray. 

It was clear from the start that Ray would rather retire in Florida than frolic in front of the camera, as he admitted on one reunion special. And like most traditional housewives who join these shows out of pure boredom or a second wind at life, the notoriety that comes with it is uncomfortable for the husband as the power dynamics shift. After years of being a doting wife and mother, it was Karen’s time, regardless of their ups and downs.

Seasons 2-5 showed the disconnect between the two as Karen desperately tried to maintain her facade. We saw Ray emotionally distant. Even when Karen came to his rescue and paid off his IRS debt, it wasn’t enough to prove to her longtime husband that she was in it for the long haul and wanted to reignite that spark. During the Season 5 cast trip to Monique Samuels’ cabin, a tipsy Karen said she didn’t even receive a simple “thank you” from Ray for using her Bravo money to cover his debt. With her fireball liquor courage, she demanded a refund. Later in the season, during a therapy session, Ray admitted he doesn’t even know if he’s still in love with Karen and said it so nonchalantly. Karen ran into another room in tears.

There have been rumblings for seasons that Karen has had an issue with her drinking at times, thanks to her co-stars. Gizelle Bryant, Robyn Dixon, Ashley Darby and Charrisse Jackson-Jordan — all people who’ve called Karen a friend at one point or another — had no problem putting that information on “Front Street.” There have been mentions of Karen drunk-calling them during the day to vent, or her falling out at local bars in high society Potomac, and even mention of her getting drunk and having rendezvous with other men. None of this has ever appeared to be conversations of concern but an attempt to expose her flaws by embarrassing her about a personal struggle, all while deflecting their truths from being exposed. As a worried friend, there’s a way to address a potential substance abuse issue if one thinks that’s the case, but not with their methods.

In Karen’s case, it backfired whenever she did confide in her frenemies. Remember in Season 3 when Ray’s tax issues were reported in The Washington Post? Robyn, who had recently come out of bankruptcy and was renting a two-bedroom townhouse in Baltimore-adjacent, revealed details of a personal phone call between her and Karen. Robyn claimed she was shocked Karen called and confided in her. But if anyone remembers the early days of Potomac, Robyn would have been the best choice at the time as she seemed to be the most humble, and it was something Karen probably felt she could relate to due to Robyn screwing up her husband, Juan’s, NBA fortune through bad investments.

Instead, Robyn used it to crack Karen’s buttoned-up image and enjoy another person’s potential financial ruin. Robyn ran with the information to the rest of the group, forcing Karen to pull the lowest hanging fruit by hosting a “press conference” where her co-stars could ask questions she’d refuse to answer. The conference ended with Gizelle walking away and instructing Karen to read the back of her shirt, which read “Free Uncle Ben #TaxReform,” which Robyn found to be hilarious. What a friend group.

In addition to her issues on-camera and in her marriage, Karen was simultaneously dealing with the loss of both parents, both of whom died from complications of dementia and Alzheimer’s within just months of one another. Whether her co-stars felt Karen’s excuse for moving from Potomac in the middle of the night was due to her reasoning for being closer to her ailing parents or her money issues is one thing, but not being a true sense of support for her in that time showed their genuine card.

Many will say that Karen has not been innocent in all this, but if you look objectively, it’s evident that Karen has reacted in response versus choosing to be an adversary of her co-stars. She supported Ashley’s fertility journey despite their ups and downs. Even with Robyn’s shade being thrown since Season 2, she admitted that Robyn deserved better in her relationship with Juan, but Robyn’s antics didn’t stop, nor did Gizelle’s, so the Grand Dame went H.A.M., as she should have. Some wondered where her issues with Charisse stemmed from; if someone kept speaking about my drunken nights, that would cause me to take a step back, too. And let’s not start on Gizelle, her greatest sparring partner. Day 1 fans know that Gizelle began a fight with Karen that she couldn’t finish or win. So, as the saying goes, “If you can’t be them, join them,” and that’s what Gizelle has done in Season 9. Even those Karen has brought into the fold, e.g., Mia Thornton, have used her hardships against her in an unwarranted fashion. The problem is that Karen deflects so well and always surpasses their attempts at tarnishing her.

There’s no excuse for Karen’s DUI…her second one at that. Hopefully, this serves as a wake-up call for her. She does need some help, whether it be rehab or intense therapy, to address why she’s drinking so heavily at times. And it’s even more apparent that her pride and image of being the Grand Dame was so intense that she refused to accept the truth and allow a case she knew she couldn’t win to go to trial. Whatever the fallout is, she’ll have to deal with it. The bodycam footage is deafening, embarrassing, at least. For the world to see it, it would be hard for her to explain it away. Still, this can be her turning point. Reality television fans love a good comeback story.

If the Kardashians can manufacture their images and likenesses and pick and choose which narratives they want out there, so can any other reality star, especially a 61-year-old woman who should be in the prime of her life. So, my apologies if I’m not here to laugh at Karen’s downfall. It’s uncomfortable to watch. Unlike her co-stars, Karen does not take joy in seeing her cast members unravel. Unfortunately, the same courtesy has never been given to her.