In high school, I use to think I was the cool girl with all the guy friends. At that time, I believed the lesser the females the lesser the drama. Now, looking back at myself then, I see how that concept of thinking was shallow.

I've always maintained that sometimes it’s you that’s the problem. As was the case with my stance on women and the drama I associated with their company. So I decided to take a step back so I could reevaluate and see what truly was the issue with not wanting to celebrate, appreciate and love my fellow sisters.

Your circle is key

Keys are used to unlock and to enter. Do your friends unlock your potential to grow? Do they enter with love, peace, and joy? Are you willing to unlock and let them in so they can love, care, and celebrate you?

I grew up with an older brother, guy cousins, and uncles, so I guess that is what made it so easy for me to cope with the men.

What I didn't realize was how in need I was of "girlfriend-ship".

I was burdened with so much insecurity that it blocked and impaired my vision to see how important sisterhood was. There were times I would unconsciously create these ideas where other females were my competition and against me. I would become defensive and immediately allow my heart to harden.

I now know that I could not accept that I was the problem because I did not recognize I was the problem.

Sisters, it’s so important that we strive to be our best selves, and reevaluating our situations and allowing our hearts to be examined is an important part of that process.

When I was single I was able to pray and ask that God surrounds me with women who have the same heart as me — women that are accountable, respectful, loving and kind.

As I grew in my relationship of faith, I believe God allowed my void of friendship to cause a yearning for what I really needed. There were times I felt alone, misunderstood, and just needed a true genuine woman I could confide in.

That period in my life taught me that it's not the circle itself that brings drama, but the people inside of it.

Empowered women empower women

You’ll be amazed how willing you are to empower other women when you feel empowered

Not all of us will feel motivated all the time. Some of us are hurting and being used. When you feel empowered you will naturally be kind and loving – which is exactly what those who aren't empowered need.

The best thing is that you don't need 10 or 12 girlfriends, just the few can make a major impact in your life. Who have you surrounded yourself around? How do they impact your life? What are they committed to? Always keep challenging people around.

Some may think it’s played out to believe your circle speaks about who you are, but it couldn't be truer. When you look at your friends, you look at yourself. Which is why you must ask, how you want to be represented. I challenge you to reevaluate yourself by reevaluating your circle.

We are to be celebrated.

Got girlfriends that don't support or encourage? Girlfriends that rebuke you when you're out of line, but won't applaud you on accomplishments? Kindly thank them for their time and show them the door. You owe it to yourself.

When I can't get myself in check, I have sisters who clap back and do the job. Others will only treat you based on the standards you set for yourself.

If there is a time where you want to connect and fellowship do not hesitate to reach out. There is always someone ready to make themselves available. I believe it is each woman's responsibility to be accountable for their sister. We need each other to help see our own lights. When we move as one, we're more powerful than ever.

Meeting With Megs

Writing since January 2017 · 4 stories contributed