If you’re interested in sharing your opinion on any cultural, political or personal topic, create an account here and check out our how-to post to learn more.

Opinions are the writer’s own and not those of Blavity's.

____

Being an ‘80s baby, the ‘90s was my era for iconic movies and music — though I hated the fashion.

I still remember most of Darius Lovehall’s poem he recited in the first few minutes of Love Jones. I can quote all the funny parts from Love and Basketball, and when Lance married Mia after whooping Harper Stewart’s ass a few hours before on The Best Man, I was sure I had seen what true love was supposed to look like.

There is no love quite as profound or as strong as the love God has for us. And because God is love, the determination of his intentions, coupled with his hopes for us, formed Black love and purposed it to be the greatest force on this planet. When melanin meets melanin, it is a reflection of God’s breath. That’s Blackness defined.

But Black love faces challenges other loves do not.

A little over 10 years ago, the U.S. Census showed that 71% of Black women between the ages of 25 and 29 were unmarried. As they reached ages 30 to 34, half of that number were never married.

The dissolution of the Black marriage can be traced back to the Middle Passage and the remnants of that journey from African soil to slavery. The idea of selling a wife from her husband fractured the idea of unions.

Not to mention the tax.

LVSBND

When Virginia’s General Assembly created a Black woman law that essentially charged a Black man with having to pay taxes on his wife (whether freed or enslaved), Black love became a burden.

Since before she could form words, the burden of protection for Black men has weighed on the shoulders of Black women — a generational curse when Jim crow wasn’t even a thought and American ground was planted, needled and threaded with her blood, sweat and tears.

The strength of Black women is the base of the universe.

In the ‘90s we had Living Single — an often copied sitcom about four Black women and their two male neighbors from upstairs who spent several seasons finding love, losing love and finally finding “the one.” Decades later, Living Single’s creator is bringing a new series to the STARZ network, Run the World. The show is about four Black girlfriends living in Harlem. They’ll experience love, loss and, hopefully, also finding “the one.” But whether the show will succeed in a sea of Powers, P-Valleys and Housewives is yet to be determined.

The idea of finding the one true love in Black culture doesn't seem to be a priority anymore.

If the above statement is true, then one must question why. Could a disillusioned Regan-era war on drugs and the incarceration rates with Black men have anything to do with it?

LVSBND

In 2014 alone, incarcerated Black men outnumbered imprisoned Black women by a hefty 490,000. But there’s hope.

According to a Pew Research study conducted in 2015, 75% of Black men were married to Black women. Further, according to Howard University, that number is even higher among Black men who make over $100k a year.

The Center for Disease Control (CDC) has strict guidelines for COVID-era dating. So how does one date during the pandemic? And with guidelines that include social distancing, quarantine before kissing and sanitizer over everything, why would one want to?

I believe it’s because love is an undeniable thing we all need in some form. And Black love, specifically, is a necessity that the world must continue to believe in and see.

LVSBND

Photographed by LVSBND

Models: Olumide and Gabrielle

James R. Sanders

Writing since October 2019 · 3 stories contributed