On Jan. 7, Allison Holker, the widow of Stephen “tWitch” Boss, opened up like never before during an exclusive with People ahead of the release of her forthcoming book titled, This Far: My Story of Love, Loss, and Embracing the Light.

As Blavity reported, the beloved performer died by suicide in December 2022 at an Encino hotel, shocking the world particularly because of his joyful persona. He was known for his work on So You Think You Can Dance and Ellen DeGeneres’ self-titled daytime talk show. Now, a little over two years later, Holker has written a book about her healing journey. This Far, available on Feb. 4, gives insight into what the past two years have been like for her and her three children.

Ahead of Boss’s funeral in early 2023, Holker claimed she and her friend were picking out a suit when she came across various shoeboxes containing drugs like mushrooms, pills and “other substances.”

“I was with one of my really dear friends, and we were cleaning out the closet and picking out an outfit for him for the funeral,” she told People.

“It was a really triggering moment for me because there were a lot of things I discovered in our closet that I did not know existed. It was very alarming to me to learn that there was so much happening that I had no clue [about],” she added. “It was a really scary moment in my life to figure that out, but it also helped me process that he was going through so much and he was hiding so much, and there must have been a lot of shame in that.”

Holker said she knew of Boss’s marijuana use, but there was so much more she had no idea about. She also uncovered his journals, which led her to realize how deeply he was hurting.

“He was wrestling with a lot inside himself, and he was trying to self-medicate and cope with all those feelings because he didn’t want to put it on anyone because he loved everyone so much,” she said. “He didn’t want other people to take on his pain.”

Saddened by what he wrote, she shared Boss’s journals pointed to childhood traumas he endured at the hands of an older male figure.

“Reading Stephen’s journals, and even going back into the books he had read and the things that he was highlighting and lining, really gave me a better perspective of where he was in life and the type of things he was struggling with,” Holker explained. “It did have me feel a lot of empathy towards him and sadness for all the pain that he was holding.”

Following the People interview, Boss’ family and friends are not buying what Holker is selling, and expressed their disappointment and frustrations over her decision to release a book that shares intimate information about the late entertainer with the public.

Boss’ brother Jay had a few choice words for Holkner via an Instagram story.

“Due to the recent selfish acts of a certain horrible piece of trash human being who only wants to use my best friend’s memory to benefit herself and her stupid a** book she’s selling…” he wrote. “I think I wanna go LIVE and share some real actual heartfelt memories of Stephen and open it to anyone who wants to hop in and share. We will not let this self-centered Troglodyte control the narrative and try to do anything other than shine light and love on his memory.”

Boss’s cousin also tweeted her sentiments about the interview. She stated the fact that his autopsy report confirmed he was clear of drugs and alcohol.

“Yeah idgaf about an NDA. This crazy woman made me and his actual family including sign an NDA just to even attend the funeral. She’s been trying to tarnish his legacy and refuses to let the Boss family see the children. Only to exploit and LIE on my cousin. Hell no.”

Courtney Ann Platt, Boss’ longtime friend who was also at the pair’s wedding, took to criticized Holker.

“Anyone who knows me, knows I go straight to source during a conflict and handle my business but since there’s clearly no shame in being so public, I haven’t said a word in two years but here I go,” her post’s caption began. “I was there the moment you both connected, I was there the day you got engaged, I stood by your side on your wedding day, I was in your home the day he died. I was by your side because your husband was my family. It didn’t matter how often we spoke, how often we saw each other. We were bonded IVever.”

Platt added, “Get a journal, a therapist, a friend…but publishing a book shamelessly sharing the pages of your husband’s journal? People magazine? What a joke,” Pratt continued. “Yes, he took his own life which is a fact all of us still can’t fathom and he was clearly having mental health issues, hurting so deeply and this is your example of empathy? Of your love? This smear campaign for a buck is absolutely not what he would have ever wanted. No matter how bad he was hurting. Not for second. You’re a living, breathing bulldozer. Stick to your own demons. Shame on you Allison, shame on your money hungry team. Let my friend Rest in Peace not your PR.”

According to E! Online, Holker has responded to the backlash, particularly to one comment that read: “He’s gone. Why tear apart this name?

“I’ll always love you. Just trying to help people feel safe to ask for help and support,” she replied.

In her interview with People, she shared that her hope is that This Far would help others feel seen, find solace in their situations, and gain the strength to overcome them.

“It was really hard to put all the pieces together. Through certain discussions, even with friends and things that have been said, reading through his journals … you realize he went through a lot as a child and never faced it,” Holker said. “It’s hard to think that he never opened up to someone and wanted to face it, to get through on the other side. I really hope people dealing with the same thing will help themselves out of the shadows and [know] you’re going to be okay.”

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